Actually, my first question is: Have I become ultraconservative or prude or something?
Let me back up. If you haven't seen this ad for an inflatable bra from China, you should. I first thought it was Japanese because, hey, you know: Japan. Also, the women there seem to have trouble interesting the men in coming out of their parents' basements while China is suffering a shortage of women, thanks to population control policies.
But, of course, Japanese sounds nothing like Chinese.
It does make me wonder if China is the new Japan. Remember when everyone was panicked about the Japanese taking over? Not so much any more, eh? Also, the Chinese—despite the crushing hand of whatever form of government they have—seem to be getting weirder and weirder.
The other thing that jarred me, though, was the use of the phrase "God's hands". That's right: This bra company is making the "She's Mine" bra which uses "God's hands" to lift up and mash a woman's breasts together. (Nice touch: adjustable to various cup sizes. After all, a girl wants to be appreciated for her other features as well. Just not always.)
But...God's hands? Really? Isn't that the very definition of "profane"? I mean, I'm more amused than anything. After all, the Chinese know what's profane to the Chinese, right? And the Chinese have never seemed to have the same sort of relationship with God as Western civilization has.
Still. Odd.
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Grab an umbrella. Unleash hell. Your mileage may vary. Results not typical. If swelling continues past four hours, consult a physician.