I went through that whole post about lies we tell women without adding:
14. It's really ten inches baby. Your ruler must be off.
I'm so proud of myself.
Aw, crap.
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Making sense and senselessness of an unending flood of data.
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Grab an umbrella. Unleash hell. Your mileage may vary. Results not typical. If swelling continues past four hours, consult a physician.