Freeman Hunt linked to this Daily Mail article about the horrors of having an autistic child.
Huh.
It's a fairly offensive article. Not because it doesn't accurately describe the potential difficulties of having a brain-injured child. I think people who only know about it through TV shows and movies should be aware that it's a grind. And the rewards, such as they are, don't fit neatly into a narrative, a la Rain Man.
The author's conclusion is that the child she's describing and everyone whose life he's touched would be better had he never been born. And, oh, we should have tests to find out who the autistic kids are going to be so they can be aborted.
You know, it's not so much the "wishing for technology" that's lame. It's that the wishes themselves are lame. I mean if you're going to wish for something, why wish for a test that allows you to preemptively kill problem children? (We won't get into the question of how the test determines the severity of the autism, even presuming that autism vs. an inclination toward autism could be distinguished, and that the genetic propensity to autism--if it even exists--doesn't also include a genetic propensity for something that's got a survival advantage, etc. etc. etc.)
I mean, if you're gonna wish, why not wish for a cure? And not just for autism, but for all brain injuries. Now that is something to wish for! My friends at the IAHP have a success rate of only about 17% (IIRC)--not that they don't keep trying.
But it doesn't strike me as impossible, and while it wouldn't give one the grim satisfaction of "being honest" about difficult situations, it would have the bonus of being helpful to stroke victims, dementia patients, and all those other people that seem to float to the top of the euthanasia list.
Wishes aside, the article laments all the things in life the author feels the couple is being denied by their child, and proclaims that three generations' lives are completely ruined now. There's an almost impressive lack of empathy for the child.
Rather than pick through the various appalling items enumerated, I'll just mention a point of interest: Back in the old days, a person would have aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and cousins of all stripes to help with family issues. Now that extended family is gone and the issue is largely relegated to the state, the state doesn't seem to be able to step up.
Something to think about if you're the Lone Wolf type.
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The author's conclusion is that the child she's describing and everyone whose life he's touched would be better had he never been born.
ReplyDeleteWhat a very sad, cynical view.
And I'm with you on wishing for positive outcomes that allow us to keep on celebrating life.
Prior to this and your post at Althouse about seizures, I was the only one I knew of who had ever heard of the IAHP. I'm really only familiar with their well child programs, (I've read, I think, all of the Doman books.) and though we don't follow any of them, I think they're interesting.
ReplyDeleteThat article appalled me. I can't imagine that the author is still friends with the family. How could anyone be friends with someone who said, "You know, everyone would be better off if your kid were dead." Monstrous.
I like to bring it up when I can because I wish I had known about it sooner. And when I found out, it seemed like everyone knew about it and just never bothered to mention it.
ReplyDeleteI would encourage you to follow what you can: A lot of it is on the level of teaching your child to swim. You do it to make your kid "water-proof". Doman's stuff you do to make your kid "school-proof".
One never knows how one's life situation is going to change, and the more you can get done early on, the better off the kid will be.
As for the article, I think the key thing is that the writer kept mentioning what are essentially trivialities as a contrast.
ReplyDeleteInstead of those little things that make aging nicer, the grandparents' money would be going to help out their children and grandchildren.
Because more important than having a good purpose in life is being able to have vacations on the beach.
Because more important than having a good purpose in life is being able to have vacations on the beach.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Horrifying. The entire thing was written from the point of view that it's things, not family, that are central to life.
As to Doman, we're planning to do some "Bit of Intelligence" programs in the spring on local plant and animal life. The only reason we don't do the reading is that he started reading on his own, and the only reason we don't do other bits of intelligence right now is that he remembers things from books so well that I prefer to show him things that way, in context. We started the physical program at one time, but he had severe reflux for many months, and we had to abandon it; never picked it back up. I would love to try the swimming program though. Waterproof is good.
Oh, if he's already reading, he doesn't need the bits. (Though sometimes they like the bits much later.)
ReplyDeleteBut there's the new one soon, so...!
Oh, if he's already reading, he doesn't need the bits. (Though sometimes they like the bits much later.)
ReplyDeleteHe's only 23 months old, so I think he's still in bit range. The reading was sort of anomalous as it started at 14 months. I could be wrong, but I don't think that's likely to happen again. So yeah, next one; here come the bits!
Yeah, I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteThey don't know when I started reading; I was never taught. But I was reading adult material in nursery school.
My kids? Dyslexic. Well, two of 'em, anyway. Well, and not formally dyslexic, just B&D reversing and things like that.
And then there's the one that reads upside down, but can do it at a hundred pages a second.
Kids are weird.
reads upside down
ReplyDeleteWow, that could be handy if you wanted to share a book.
blake and Freeman have brilliant kids! Who'da thunk it? ;-)
ReplyDeleteWell I would have. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
ReplyDeleteThe apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
ReplyDeleteWell, I didn't read until I was seven, so how 'bout them apples?
:)
My mom always claimed she couldn't read until college.
ReplyDelete