Thursday, May 13, 2010

I Join The Illuminati

"Wow, it's so great you guys finally let me in."
"Your qualifications were...adequate."
"Yeah. Well. You know what the unwashed masses call a guy who just barely gets in to the Illuminati?"
"What?"
"Nothing, because those poor bastards have no idea who we are! HA!"
"..."
"..."
"OK. so, this is your desk over here."
"A desk? I get a desk? I figured there'd be, like a banquet table or maybe a grotto..."
"There are, but you have to start somewhere."
"And that somewhere is a desk?"
"That somewhere is Help Desk."
[some time later]
"Hello, Illuminati Help Desk. How may I help you control the world today?"
"..."
"You want to devalue a currency?"
"..."
"Oh, the yen! The Chinese yen, even? Very advanced. Are you upgraded to the current ver--"
"..."
"Very good. OK, go to Actions menu, Economic sub-menu, Currency sub-sub-menu, and click Fluctuation. That should bring up the Monetary Shenanigans dialog."
"..."
"Now, from there, you --"
"...!"
"What do you mean you don't have that menu?"
"..."
"You're using the latest version of Illuminati Pro World Conquest Special Edition?"
"..."
"You think so? OK, do me a favor: Click on Windows+O. That should take you right to the Overthrow window."
"..."
"You what?"
"..."
"You don't have a Windows key? What kind of keybo-"
"..."
"It's an Apple key? Lady, you've got the wrong number. You need to call the Tri-Lateral Commission Help Desk!"
"..."
"OK, yeah, I can give you the number."

418 comments:

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  18. I have been suffering hardship from HIV/AIDS since 7yrs now, and i happen to have 2 kids for my husband, and now we cannot proceed to have another kids all because of my disease and now i have do all what a human like i and my husband can do just to get my disease healed, i have went to several places to seek for help not even one person could ever help, until i melt a comment on the daily news paper that was commented by Desmond about how this powerful doctor help him get cured of the disease (HIV-AIDS) " my fellow beloved" i firstly taught having a help from a African doctor was a wrong idea, but i think of these, will i continue to stress on these disease all day when i have someone to help me save my life?" so i gather all my faiths and put in all interest to contact him through his Email address at shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com , so after i have mailed him of helping get my disease cured, he respond to me fast as possible that i should not be afraid, that he is a truthful and powerful doctor which i firstly claimed him to be. So after all set has been done, he promise me that i will be healed but on a condition that i provide him some items and obeyed all he said. I did all by accepting his Words fact and only to see that after some weeks of taking his herbal medicine i notice some changes in my body system and i went for check up the day he ask me to go for check up to confirm if the sickness was still there,to my greatest surprise i could not find any sickness in my body i was first shocked and later arise to be the happiest woman on earth after i have concluded my final test on the hospital by my doctor that i am now HIV- Negative. My papers for check are with me and now i am happy and glad for his miraculous help and power. With these i must tell everyone who might seek for any help, either for HIV cure or much more to contact him now at these following email now, Email: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com or you can contact me for confirmation dannyspencerlove@yahoo.com "sir thank you so much for your immediate cure of my disease, i must say a big thanks for curing my disease, i owe you in return. Thanks and be Blessed.....

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  19. Been a HIV positive is just like been through hell but EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. So amazing and i want to testify of the good work done by GREAT BABA a very strong and powerful spell caster. GREAT BABA has proved science and scientists wrong for believing and thinking that there is no cure for HIV AIDS but to be sincere this GREAT MAN is so real and powerful. I never thought that this spell will work but this GREAT MAN has proved it to me and it has worked and still working perfectly. My Name is Randy Scott and i was diagnosed of the deadly disease called HIV AIDS in 2011 and i thought that is the end and there will be no hope. Speaking to anyone was always a problem because i was so worried and always in the state of unrest in fact i thought it was over until one blessed day when i was searching for help here on the internet, i came across a testimony about GREAT BABA on how he helped a lady who was HIV positive. At first i thought it was all a lie but i decided to give it a try since there was no option and, when i contacted this MAN he laughed and told me that, that is too small for him to handle but i was still in doubt, and he gave me a form to fill which I did, then he called me and told me that his gods required some items in which he will use in casting a curing spell on me and he told me that it will cost only $500, I sent him the money because I could not find the items. He bought the items and prepared a cure for me, and instructed me on what to do and i OBEYED him completely as he told me. Then he sent a parcel to me through the courier delivery service. I paid for the courier service, I got my parcel, it was a holy water and a pure holy oil as described by GREAT BABA. I took the holy water and the holy oil and after taking it, he told me to go for check up but I was still in doubt and was so afraid to go for the test but i took a bold step and believed that it is well, and i believed all what he has done and all that he has told me. So i went to the hospital for the test it was so amazing, awesome and exciting what seems to be impossible became possible, the VIRUS disappeared completely from my system and I was tested HIV negative. Quickly I called him and told him what happened he congratulated me and today i am a happy man again the way things use to be. Don't you think that this testimony is worth sharing? I promise to tell the world about him and i will keep sharing this testimony till the end because many people has died of AIDS and i want many people who believed that it is over to know that EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE AND I WANT THEM TO GET HELP FROM THIS SPELL CASTER by contacting him on his email at shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com for your solution now. If you are hiv positive and you think that it is over i want to tell you that there is hope for you and if you truly and dearly value your life please contact him now. THIS IS REAL HE IS NOT A SCAM, BELIEVE HIM AND DON'T ASK TOO MUCH QUESTIONS. Thank you GREAT BABA and May your good gods keep rewarding you for your good deeds. HIS EMAIL AGAIN IS: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

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  120. Are you from SOUTH AFRICA, USA, OR ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD TODAY BE RICH, FAME, AND POSSES POWER.email us on illuminatialterofwealth666@gmail.com or call us on +2348131612153 for immediate initiation New members registration is now open online now !!!!! BENEFITS GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS WHO JOIN ILLUMINATI. A Cash Reward of USD $300,000 USD A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $120,000 USD A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination. One year Golf Membership package A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World A total Lifestyle change Access to Bohemian Grove Monthly payment of $1,000,000 USD into your bank account every month as a member One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World. If you are interested, contact us today for immediately initiation.New members registration is now open online,JOIN THE ILLUMINATI TODAY Email: illuminatialterofwealth666@gmail.com,or call 08131612153.

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  121. People make life difficult for their self , we are in the world were every thing is in control , i was living a life of poverty and pains, i never new there was a life be young that, but right now i enjoyed every dividend of life , am rich , famous , powerful,i live a life with out no stress, but all this was a surprise , for any body who want riches, famous and power,then you have the chance to do that, join the illuminati today to get $1,000,000 Dollars monthly membership blessing contact the following email. greateiluminatitemple@gmail.com we don,t patronize people to join,. we only want you to rule your world and be free from oppression.,

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    ReplyDelete
  122. JOIN THE MILLIONS WHO HAVE DISCOVERED THE LIGHT
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    ReplyDelete
  123. i am giving a testimony of how i become rich and famous
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    ReplyDelete
  124. The ILLUMINATI KINGDOM has implemented the second initiation for the year 2016, Are you a business man or woman, political, musician,
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    ReplyDelete

  125. WELCOME TO THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE GREAT ILLUMINATI. Are you a BUSINESSMAN or WOMAN, POLITICIAN, ARTIST OR ACTRESS, STUDENT and you desire WEALTH, INFLUENCE, FAMOUS, POWER AND PROTECTION and lot more, be a member of the great Illuminati today and receive $250,000 weekly and $500,000 monthly as membership blessing for you being a member of the Illuminati. With this all your dreams and your heart desires can be fully accomplish, for more information contact us on this email address: illuminatiworldfamouse@gmail.com or call :+2348168257144.

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  126. Hello friends,
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    ReplyDelete
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  128. Welcome to brotherhood Illuminati where you can become rich famous and popular and your life story will be change I am here to share my testimony on how I join the great brotherhood Illuminati and my life story was change immediately . I was very poor no job and I has no money to even feed and take care of my family I was confuse in life I don’t know what to do I try all my possible best to get money but no one work out for me each day I share tears, I was just looking out my family no money to take care of them until one day I decided to join the great Illuminati , I come across them in the internet I never believe I said let me try I email them.all what they said will happen in my life just started it was like a dream to me they really change my story totally . They give me the sum of $1 million usd and many things. through the Illuminati I was able to become rich, and have many industry on my own and become famous and popular in my country , today me and my family is living happily and I am the most happiest man here is the opportunity for you to join the Illuminati and become rich and famous in life and be like other people and your life will be change totally.If you are interested in joining the great brotherhood Illuminati.then contact us +2347060507634 email:illuminatiworldofpopulation1@gmail.com or you can WHATSAPP him with this number +2348115204568.

    ReplyDelete
  129. This is a one life time opportunity. Are you an artist, producer, business man/woman, director, actor/actress. Want you and your family to celebrate this Christmas and New Year in a grand style,like you have never done it before? Then to get rich,famous and protect your already acquired wealth beyond your widest imagination, and also to leave a life of poverty, join the most powerful and influenced brotherhood in the world known as the illuminate brotherhood by contacting us today via email: greateiluminatitemple@gmail.com.com or call:+2347037145182. Your fame and wealth is our utmost concern.The Illuminati rules the world. Join us to rule the world with us..

    ReplyDelete
  130. Welcome to brotherhood Illuminati where you can become rich famous and popular and your life story will be change I am here to share my testimony on how I join the great brotherhood Illuminati and my life story was change immediately . I was very poor no job and I has no money to even feed and take care of my family I was confuse in life I don’t know what to do I try all my possible best to get money but no one work out for me each day I share tears, I was just looking out my family no money to take care of them until one day I decided to join the great Illuminati , I come across them in the internet I never believe I said let me try I email them.all what they said will happen in my life just started it was like a dream to me they really change my story totally . They give me the sum of $1 million usd and many things. through the Illuminati I was able to become rich, and have many industry on my own and become famous and popular in my country , today me and my family is living happily and I am the most happiest man here is the opportunity for you to join the Illuminati and become rich and famous in life and be like other people and your life will be change totally.If you are interested in joining the great brotherhood Illuminati.then contact us +2347060507634 email:illuminatiworldofpopulation1@gmail.com or you can WHATSAPP him with this number +2348115204568.

    ReplyDelete
  131. This is a one life time opportunity. Are you an artist, producer, business man/woman, director, actor/actress. Want you and your family to celebrate this Christmas and New Year in a grand style,like you have never done it before? Then to get rich,famous and protect your already acquired wealth beyond your widest imagination, and also to leave a life of poverty, join the most powerful and influenced brotherhood in the world known as the illuminate brotherhood by contacting us today via email: greateiluminatitemple@gmail.com.com or call:+2347037145182. Your fame and wealth is our utmost concern.The Illuminati rules the world. Join us to rule the world with us..

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  132. Are you a business man/woman or an ARTISTS,POLITICIANS,PASTOR,ENGINEER,DOCTOR, STUDENTS, GRADUATED and you want to become Rich Powerful and famous, in life or,Are you frustrated in life. What type of wealth do you want? Today is your luckiest day, 'I want to join great Illuminati occult in Nigeria' we are here for those of you that want to join Illuminati Brotherhood in Nigeria and across Africa.Are you tired of poverty and now you want fame,power and riches Making wealth is guaranteed for the people of the world. Our magical powers are beyond your imagination. we could do magic on your behalf regarding , your financial situation, future events, or whatever is important to you. we have the power and we use the power.Life is a game. Money is how we keep scores. Money speaks sense in a language all nations understand. If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some; for he that goes borrowing goes sorrowing. We are a group of strong brothers who came from different walks of life for the purpose of alleviating the sufferings of our people we are Illuminati, and we could change the course of destiny Illuminati Brotherhood are most probably the most well known secret society in the world. Illuminati Brotherhood is not for Everyone, Is it someone or something you desire to have? Do you want wealth(Want to grow your bank account?, Need funds to enjoy the good life? Tired of working hard and getting nowhere?) or happiness? the most powerful society welcomes you to Illuminati..But we might be Right for you! We are Seeking our Dark Brothers and Sisters who have heard the call to come Home to the Illuminati Family! For those fortunate applicants of interest whom will be chosen to join the succeeding family of Illuminati, you will learn the untold secrets that few have ever known existed! The Illuminati rituals for securing Wealth, Health, Love, Lust and Power that none outside of this family have ever been taught and never will. . . we are here to protect you if you so desire! .. contact Illuminati initiation home Send us your most important desire and we shall work our powers in your favor. Be sure to tell Illuminati what you want. Email us now illuminatimoneyhome12@gmail.com or call the agent now +2349039763097 you can e-mail to illuminatimoneyhome12@gmail.com for immediately initiation.New members registration is now open online or call them on this number +2349039763097 our source of wealth and power is reviled to registered member only........Good LUCKY

    ReplyDelete
  133. My people i bring to you good news, and this is my joy and happiness. people say To become a member of the illuminati is a very difficult task. but i bring to your notice that to become a bonafide member of the brotherhood have been made very easy. sometime ago i was just eager to become a member, and i meant so many persons who never showed me the right way. few months ago i saw so many people testifying of how agent Tony linked them up, and they become a complete member of the brotherhood. so i decided to contact Mr Tony who gave me the right link to become a member. i followed all the steps, and today i am a proud member of the brotherhood of Illuminati. so i want you all to help me say a big thanks to agent Tony. In case you have been aspiring to become a member of the brotherhood, and you have not meet the right person before now, i want to tell you to quickly contact the right Illuminati agent now. he is no other person than Mr Tony. the mission of the brotherhood now is to wipe away suffering and hardship away from the life of all. so if you are a business man/woman, an artist, a pastor, a working class, and do you want wealth,fame,protection,long life, prosperity just name it just as i have now, the illuminati is ready to help you achieve your dreams.contact agent tony on the illuminati email: illuminatimostfamous@gmail.com you can call us or whatsapp +2348107155060 and become a legitimate member, join us today and become rich, powerful, famous all your life.

    ReplyDelete
  134. WELCOME TO THE GREAT BROTHERHOOD.
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    5.One year Golf Membership package
    6.A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World 7.A total Lifestyle change 8.Access to Bohemian Grove
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    ReplyDelete
  135. I am giving a testimony of how i become rich and famous today... i was
    deeply strangled up by poverty and i had no body to help me, and also i
    search for help from different corners but to no avail... i see people
    around me getting rich but to me i was so ashamed of my self so i met a man
    on my way he was very rich and he was a doctor so he told me something and
    i think over it though out the day so the next day i looked up and i keep
    repeating what he said to me. " if you want to get rich quick and be
    famous" you need to cross your heart and do what is in your mind so i tried
    all i could in other for me to do as he said so later on i told my fellow
    friend about this same thing then my friend was interested in my
    suggestions so i decided to look in the internet and i found an email
    address of this great fraternity( illuminaticult234@gmail.com) so we decided to
    contact them and unfortunately we did as they instruct us to do and later
    they told us to get some requirements and all the rest... so this
    initiation took us just a week and later on the great fraternity gave us
    $70,000,000.00 to start up our lives.... and now am testifying that if in
    any case you want to join any great fraternity all you need to do is for
    you to contact them because they are legitimate and they do as what they
    instructed them to do okay so email them now at ( illuminaticult234@gmail.com )
    you can call as well on (+2348147870123]

    ReplyDelete
  136. PROCEDURE OF JOINING the great Illuminati brotherhood..

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    BENEFITS GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS WHO JOIN ILLUMINATI.

    1. A Cash Reward of USD $500,000 USD
    2. A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $300,000 USD
    3.A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice
    4. One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
    5.One year Golf Membership package
    6.A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World
    7.A total Lifestyle change
    8.Access to Bohemian Grove
    9.Monthly payment of $1,000,000 USD into your bank account every month as a member 10.One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World.If you are interested call the agent now (+2347037145182) OR email us with this, (greateiluminatitemple@gmail.com) for immediately initiation.

    ReplyDelete
  137. PROCEDURE OF JOINING the great Illuminati brotherhood..

    GREAT ILLUMINATI TEMPLE Of MONEY AND POWER,
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    BENEFITS GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS WHO JOIN ILLUMINATI.

    1. A Cash Reward of USD $500,000 USD
    2. A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $300,000 USD
    3.A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice
    4. One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
    5.One year Golf Membership package
    6.A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World
    7.A total Lifestyle change
    8.Access to Bohemian Grove
    9.Monthly payment of $1,000,000 USD into your bank account every month as a member 10.One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World.If you are interested call the agent now (+2347037145182) OR email us with this, (greateiluminatitemple@gmail.com) for immediately initiation.

    ReplyDelete


  138. GREAT ILLUMINATI TEMPLE Of MONEY AND POWER,
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    BENEFITS GIVEN TO NEW MEMBERS WHO JOIN ILLUMINATI.
    1.A Cash Reward of USD $300,000 USD
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    3.A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice
    4.One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
    5.One year Golf Membership package
    6.A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World
    7.A total Lifestyle change
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    ReplyDelete

  139. Welcome to brotherhood of Illuminati where you can become rich famous and popular and your life story will be change I am here to share my testimony on how I join the great brotherhood Illuminati and my life story was change immediately . I was very poor no job and I has no money to even feed and take care of my family I was confuse in life I don’t know what to do I try all my possible best to get money but no one work out for me each day I share tears, I was just looking out my family no money to take care of them until one day I decided to join the great Illuminati , I come across them in the internet I never believe I said let me try I email them.all what they said will happen in my life just started it was like a dream to me they really change my story totally . They give me the sum of $1 million dollars and many things. through the Illuminati I was able to become rich, and have many industry on my own and become famous and popular in my country , today me and my family is living happily and I am the most happiest man here is the opportunity for you to join the Illuminati and become rich and famous in life and be like other people and your life will be change totally.If you are interested in joining the great brotherhood Illuminati.then contact us on our via email at illuminatiorder.org@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  140. Welcome to the new illuminati world wide, are you a working
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    ReplyDelete
  141. Are you a business man/woman or an ARTISTS,POLITICIANS,PASTOR,ENGINEER,DOCTOR, STUDENTS, GRADUATED and you want to become Rich Powerful and famous, in life or,Are you frustrated in life. What type of wealth do you want? Today is your luckiest day, 'I want to join great Illuminati occult in Nigeria' we are here for those of you that want to join Illuminati Brotherhood in Nigeria and across Africa.Are you tired of poverty and now you want fame,power and riches Making wealth is guaranteed for the people of the world. Our magical powers are beyond your imagination. we could do magic on your behalf regarding , your financial situation, future events, or whatever is important to you. we have the power and we use the power.Life is a game. Money is how we keep scores. Money speaks sense in a language all nations understand. If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some; for he that goes borrowing goes sorrowing. We are a group of strong brothers who came from different walks of life for the purpose of alleviating the sufferings of our people we are Illuminati, and we could change the course of destiny Illuminati Brotherhood are most probably the most well known secret society in the world. Illuminati Brotherhood is not for Everyone, Is it someone or something you desire to have? Do you want wealth(Want to grow your bank account?, Need funds to enjoy the good life? Tired of working hard and getting nowhere?) or happiness? the most powerful society welcomes you to Illuminati..But we might be Right for you! We are Seeking our Dark Brothers and Sisters who have heard the call to come Home to the Illuminati Family! For those fortunate applicants of interest whom will be chosen to join the succeeding family of Illuminati, you will learn the untold secrets that few have ever known existed! The Illuminati rituals for securing Wealth, Health, Love, Lust and Power that none outside of this family have ever been taught and never will. . . we are here to protect you if you so desire! .. contact Illuminati initiation home Send us your most important desire and we shall work our powers in your favor. Be sure to tell Illuminati what you want. Email us now illuminaticult222@gmail.com or call the agent now +2349051286241 whatsapp number 09039114879 you can e-mail to illuminaticult222@gmail.com for immediately initiation.New members registration is now open online or call them on this number +2349051286241 our source of wealth and power is reviled to registered member only........Good LUCKY

    ReplyDelete
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  148. People make life difficult for their self,we are in the world were every thing is in control, i was living a life of poverty and pains i never new there was a life be young that,but right now i enjoyed every dividend of life,am rich,famous,powerful,i live a life with out no stress, but all this was a surprise for any body who want riches famous and power,then you have the chance to do that, join the Illuminati today to get $25000 every 3 days and $1000000 monthly membership blessing contact the following email.[thetempleofilluminati@gmail.com] .or call, [+2348107106668] we don,t patronize people to join, we only want you to rule your world and be free from oppression.

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  154. People make life difficult for their self , we are in the world were every thing is in control , i was living a life of poverty and pains, i never new there was a life be young that, but right now i enjoyed every dividend of life , am rich , famous , powerful,i live a life with out no stress, but all this was a surprise , for any body who want riches famous and power,then you have the chance to do that, join the illuminati today to get $25000 every 3 days and $1000000 monthly membership blessing contact the following email. 666illuminatiworld@gmail.com
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  163. I am giving a testimony of how i become rich and famous today... i was
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  164. Hello friends,
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  187. i am giving this testimony cos l am happy My name is mrs. Lara Mark from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. UKO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address ukospelltemple@yahoo.com Great UKO i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay.. What a powerful man such as Dr UKO.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. ukospelltemple@yahoo.com or his website: ukospelltemple.wixsite.com/mysite

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