Wednesday, March 26, 2008

In Which I Defy The Unending Demands of Pointy Breasts

Seriously. Guys. It was just a lark. I was watching Touch of Evil one night and noticing that Janet Leigh could poke someone's eye out. Now I'm #3 on Google for "pointy breasts". And probably half the hits I get come from someone looking for pointy breasts.

Enough! Here:
That, of course, is the lovely Jane Russell, who was so well-endowed, her breasts were an actual barrier to Howard Hughes' flawed Western The Outlaw being released. (Oh, the MPAA had some "technical" reasons. But I guarantee they wouldn't have been as pronounced had Hughes used Lauren Bacall for the part.)

Large breasts really can't be very pointy. Ms. Russell had a bra engineered for her to, heh, enhance her bustline for The Outlaw. Apparently they never used it. (Why gild the mammary, eh, what?)

This is SURE to stop me from getting pointy breast hits! I just know it!


  1. I knew you were a smart guy. Tits means hits.

  2. Selma Hayek can not be far behind.

  3. Salma is always slightly ahead in my book.

  4. You and your pointy breasts. :)

    Pointy breasts oh pointy pointy.
    Anoint my head anointy nointy.

  5. What?! My breasts aren't pointy!


    Aw, crap, time to hit the gym.

    And the salad bar.

  6. Next you should post about the ten best breast movies of all time. With special emphasis on size, perkiness and degree of display.

    Nominees include:

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
    Skyscrapers and Brassieres
    Pyscho (the original)
    The Outlaw
    Greed (Silent version)
    Mondo Topless
    Cleopatra (Elizabeth Taylor version)
    Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens
    Mother Jugs and Speed
    Chained Heat (Linda Blair)
    Blame it on Rio
    The Black Shield of Falworth

    And others that I am sure we can add.

  7. Just winnowing down the nominees to ten would take an entire blog....

    Ecstasy (Hedy Lamarr)

    I'm No Angel (Mae West)

    Metropolis (Brigitte Helm) -- wait, do robot breasts count?


Grab an umbrella. Unleash hell. Your mileage may vary. Results not typical. If swelling continues past four hours, consult a physician.