Wednesday, April 30, 2008

(I Can't Get No) Stimulation

Just sittin' here waitin' to be stimulated.

All the newsies are talkin' 'bout how it's s'posed to come early.

I figger with my 42 children, glass eye and peg leg, I should be stimulated to the tune of one million dollars.

Ever'body wants my stimulation, too. They keep on sendin' me e-mails 'bout how I should spread it 'round. Big ol' TVs and Canadian pharmaceuticals and what-not.

I figger it'll feel so good, I'll just roll around on it for a while.

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Grab an umbrella. Unleash hell. Your mileage may vary. Results not typical. If swelling continues past four hours, consult a physician.