Thursday, January 1, 2009

Betsy Russel Gets A Cramp

I was looking through my site referrals and discovered the maelstrom comes up first if you Google:

betsy russell i've got a cramp private school

I mention Betsy Russell in the context of the "Saw" movies, but I do recall this scene perfectly. Private School was a "high concept" movie (that was when the term was first popularized) that played out as Some Like It Hot meets Animal House.

Three high school boys are trying to get laid (duh) and the handsome one is in love with the acharacteristically reticent Phoebe Cates, while the fat one and the skinny one provide comic relief and sexual slapstick. Cates' rival for the affections of the handsome one is Betsy Russell. (And what does it tell you that I can barely remember the boys in this movie at all but know Cates and Russell offhand? The supporting cast included Ray Walston and the movie's absolute high-point, Martin Mull as a pharmacist helping the boy pick out condoms based on various aesthetic qualities.)

Anyway, at one point in the movie, the boys sneak into the girl's dorm dressed as women because, you know, that way no one will recognize them or suspect anything. Betsy figures this out and decides to cause trouble by pouting and preening in front of the handsome one, so as to later feign outrage when his cover is blown.

At this point, she's stripped down to her underwear, including some fetching tiger striped panties and complains about her figure. (Funnily enough, on a good screen, the lighting is not very flattering, but I assure you no one noticed at the time.)

Then she utters the immortal words, "I've got a cramp" and beseeches handsome boy to rub her thigh to help her--placing her foot between his knees and her thigh at face level. She may even be topless at this point.

What makes this post worthless is the absence of pictures, of course. But seriously, what do you expect me to do? Dig up a 25-year-old movie and post a clip?

Well, all right. Here you go. I think the cramp part comes after this (and after she takes off her shorts). It might be that she also takes off her top which is why the clip ends here.

Meanwhile, we're still getting hits on Janet Leigh's breasts, post-apocalyptic stuff (yay!), and barbarian sex novels (I feel guilty about this one).

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